Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
