got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
