I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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