apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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