we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
