Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
