have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Actions speak louder than pants.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
