Apparently you make a good broom.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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