you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
