there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
