I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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