He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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