My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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