guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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