I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
