took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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