Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
