i would punch a child for taco bell
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
