she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
