it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
