All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
