"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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