69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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