I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
