lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
