I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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