Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
