Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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