This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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