i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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