Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
