I think I died a long time ago.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
