FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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