Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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