The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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