Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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