I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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