Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She's the barista slut.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
His nipple licking is glorious
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