the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
