IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
