I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
