you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
