That's when you crack a 10am beer
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
