i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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