This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
my liver is dry heaving
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
