there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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