Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
