seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
