How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She bit a glass in half.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
