Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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