I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
